Last year I gave you the first five cartoon quotes, and here are five more. These five quotes can be used when things go wrong – whether a little or a lot.

The Simpsons, Comic Book Guy: “Oh, I’ve wasted my life. “ I like to use this whenever my computer fails at a crucial moment, and I’ve forgotten to save whatever I’ve been working on. Excel crashes? Oh, I’ve wasted my life.

King of the Hill, Hank Hill: “I don’t think I like this club. You all whine too much, and the coffee’s bad.” To be used whenever someone criticizes you for something you did that was obviously stupid in retrospect. The non-sequitor nature of it will distract people from the fact that you’ve done something stupid, to that you’ve said something stupid. Which is an improvement. Of sorts.

Futurama, news anchor: “Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies. And there would have to be a lot of them.” Use this when recounting the story of the bad thing that happened to you to someone else.

Family Guy, Peter Griffin: “Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it. Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don’t get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today… only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it.” This one is really long, so I’m counting it as two. Adapt to whatever someone calls you, as the situation merits.